Bayern Munich vs Schalke 04, September 15th

But that man there, the big werewolf, pounces out of the cupboard ...
Ray Hudson, 44:43 1st

Like a big lurking vulture, that hasn't been fed for a week ...
Ray Hudson, 54:17 2nd

Bordon launches himself, hopefully, he sees this ball, just too late. It squirts its way through all the big dock cranes and Ollie Kahn and there, he just cannot extend himself. A fraction of a second earlier he makes contact and that one is hurting Kahn's net.
Ray Hudson, 88:14 2nd

Real Murcia vs Atlético Madrid, September 16th

Give the defenders a break, Phil, they're not all sharpshooters ... it was a crap shot, really.
Ray Hudson, 4:42 1st

They couldn't find him with a searchlight in a group of paratroopers ...
Ray Hudson, 79:02 2nd

Peru vs Colombia, September 9th

The referee, very dramatic, pulling his yellow card out like Dracula pulls out a crucifix ...
Ray Hudson, 34:50 1st

That's pure number nine, predator box assassin ...
Ray Hudson, 94:17 2nd

Ray Hudson ist mein mann

Commentator Schorsch-Fan at allesaussersport.de

ray hudson ist mein mann. wer es noch nicht gehört hat, sollte es besser tun…

or (something like) ...

Ray Hudson is my man. Whoever has not yet heard him, should better do so ...

Italy vs France, September 8th

For me, Pirlo was the undersung hero of the Italian World Cup championship team ...
Ray Hudson, 17:48 1st

Looks like a Tyrannosaurus Rex with hemorrhoids. Angry!
Ray Hudson, 12:04 2nd

Is this going to be a game where somebody drops the ball, somebody, basically, the screw-up fairy shows up ...
Ray Hudson, 23:53 2nd

It's been flick-knives and baseball bats in that midfield ...
Ray Hudson, 40:28 2nd

Villarreal vs Real Madrid, September 2nd

Magical strike by twinkle-toes Robinho, lovely lead-ball through, he doesn't hesitate, he gets all his angles right, it's a whisker, kisses the back post, Robinho, Brazilian beauty ...
Ray Hudson, 13:36 1st

A very personal, private statement that he said out wide.
Ray Hudson, 15:19 1st

It's the slightest touch, he stretches his toenails to get it ...
Ray Hudson, 39:21 1st

He kisses it in, like a beautiful pool player, top pocket. Majestical, deadly, merciless, like Kathy Bates with that sledgehammer and that movie, remember? Whack!
Ray Hudson, 48:08 2nd

This is a vivacious goal from los merengues, they're kissing each other, they'll be buying the drinks out tonight. Beautiful, beautiful goal, set up by Sergio Garcia - Sergio Ramos. Beautiful, he lifts his head, Ruud keeps himself onside, lovely touch, and old horse's face guides it, passes it. Sees his target, picks him out. Says 'put it away', and Oranje does magical. He doesn't panic, he settles it, cool like a killer in the box, pure assassin, goes disco.
Ray Hudson, 50:04 2nd

This is an absolute concerto goal, nothing less. This is a rhapsody in white. And I am not exaggerating. This is of a quality that Real Madrid has not seen in years ... One touch to caress it, the second touch to spank it, and punishes the net of the error. Villarreal stripped naked by Real Madrid. Fabulous football, Phil. Sneijder, the marquis of marksmanship.
Ray Hudson, 72:38 2nd

Barcelona vs Athletic Bilboa, September 2nd

This is a pile driver but it is precision-steered by Ronny's right foot. Those big eyes bulging he looks at that top corner and he says, that postage stamp is going to get my foot on this one. And he looks, all the menace, the intent, the deadly accuracy, it whips in under the bar and inside of the post, millimetre, split-millimetre perfection by the Brazilian wizard.
Ray Hudson
The poetry of Ray Hudson and the majestic strike of Ronaldinho ...
Pablo Alsina, 08:16 1st

Caparrós, of course, comes into this intimidating lion's den to face these gladiators ...
Ray Hudson, 21:52 1st

Little bit mischievous play there by Lionel, once he realised he wasn't getting the ball, that's when the invisible gopher popped up.
Ray Hudson, 46:52 1st

Here's that earlier run by the squirrel on the telephone wire. Messi puts the brakes on, freezes everybody, here's a lovely bamboozling ball chipped in, Yaya steadies it, Yaya spanks it ... close.
Ray Hudson, 83:29 2nd

Werder Bremen vs Eintracht Frankfurt, September 1st

He's been as dangerous as an alligator in a toilet bowl ...
Ray Hudson, 45:32 2nd

It's an absolute scalding hit by Pasanen that will send them to the beer-lines now. This can not be subdued, this one has got goal written all over it by Pasanen ... And it is an absolutely steam-roller of a smash.
Ray Hudson, 78:56 2nd

Liverpool vs Toulouse, August 28th

The Crouchasaurus, man. Big, tall, languid, but a great touch, the big man up front ...
Ray Hudson, 1:59 1st

The big lighthouse there, Crouch, flashing his big light, saying 'Give me it, feed me.'
Ray Hudson, 4:25 1st

Settled down nicely, good early touches, ten minutes in for the new boy. Good haircut, for a footballer.
Ray Hudson, 11:58 1st

He gets a good, flying, ginger-headed, big, hammer blow on this one ...
Ray Hudson, 16:39 1st

The Crouchasaurus strikes again. Telling ya, footballer! Most unorthodox player, probably, in world football, but his technique is sweet and his danger is omnipresent. He's always going to get this one with those telescopic legs, that's a fabulous ball by Dirk the Dutchman. Brilliantly leading his big man, that's a great finish. Outside of his foot, stabs it home. Peter, the Great!
Ray Hudson, 18:45 1st

And big Peter makes his point like Woody Woodpecker.
Ray Hudson, half-time

Fabulous ball in. Meets it clean, accurate, dynamic. It's a screamer of a header. He locks his focus in, jumps, jackknifes, punches. Bulging net, broken spirits.
Ray Hudson, 3:38 2nd

The biggest scouser fans I've ever met. All be sitting in there, Richie probably in his red underpants, knowing him.
Ray Hudson
You know a little too much about Richie.
Phil Schoen, 12:34 2nd

English bookmakers getting it right once again, the sons of ... guns.
Ray Hudson, 18:44 2nd

Comes through and rifles Mascherano, takes a big filet mignon out of him. Just the type of thing to wake up an Argentine.
Ray Hudson, 19:21 2nd

That's absolutely brilliant by Peter. He does all the impossible stuff, absolutely first class, look at this, brings it down, controls it, angles himself, gets it away from the defender and then puts his finger down his throat.
Ray Hudson, 34:12 2nd

Steve Gerrard Gerrard looks down, gets out of his regal seat and applause, because what he sees is mucho good, look at this ball from Kuyt, he gets it back and he rasps it into the net. Dynamic finish, beautiful, play it back, red carpet, one touch, it's goodnight Toulouse.
Ray Hudson, 41:24 2nd

Inviting Dirk onto it, and that steadying touch, but then he doesn't live those beautiful ginger locks, because instinctively, like the great finisher he is, he knows that that back post isn't moving, he knows strategically where it is, and like a big, great pool player, he gets his cue out and that right foot, and kisses it in off the post ...
Ray Hudson, 41:55 2nd

Look at that. Laser. Great fly's eye vision by Benayoun. Tricky, outside of the foot. Dirk sees his angle, Dirk sees the net, Dirk sees disco tonight.
Ray Hudson, 46:13 2nd

Blogrolled!

Thankyou, Linda at the beautiful game, who has a cracking blog that everyone should go read.