Sunday, March 30, 2008

Real Betis vs Barcelona, March 29th

This team in green and white have been really as harmless as Tweety Bird...
Ray Hudson, 38:50 1st

It was tremendous football by Barcelona - dynamic, adroit, clever, waspish, cheeky and zippy. Well, I may just have mentioned all the seven dwarfs there, Phil, but they were looking that good and hot. Meanwhile Betis were looking like they were carrying handbags and lipstick...
Ray Hudson, half-time

Don't be sexist, Phil. Broads hate that.
Ray Hudson, 6:28 2nd

Barcelona falling apart like a ten-year block of old cheese, now.
Ray Hudson, 30:50 2nd

Nuremberg vs Bayern Munich, March 29th

The underdogs with the big teeth come out growling. Misimović, I was saying, keep your eyes on the number ten, he's the top marksman, and what a marksman! This is a fabulous strike. He sees it over the top, he dishes it off nicely, Misimović. That's accurate to the tenth degree. Fabulous ball. It's not all about power, because without control power means nothing. Well Misimović gets all of the control right. The gyroscope is working to perfection...
Ray Hudson, 43:28 1st

Friday, March 28, 2008

Another Weekend Retreat

Back sometime Sunday. Feel free to discuss quotes and leitmotifs from this weekend's games in this here open thread.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Egypt vs Argentina, March 26th

They may not be the most illuminating with the football, but, man, they are tighter than a fish's backside.
Ray Hudson, 65:06 2nd

And the little man comes alive. Beautiful first touch, here, settles it, brilliantly, rifles it, near the top of the net. Look at this for a first touch, heavenly. Velvet feet, and then they turn into fists of fury. Dagger finish by Kun Agüero. Waiting in the long grass, I said in the first half, well, the little scorpion just jumps out and stings Egypt.
Ray Hudson, 66:11 2nd

First touch, caresses it, settles it, puts it on a golf tee and then, whack! Rifles it with his driver. Beautiful, hole in one.
Ray Hudson, 86:10

Monday, March 24, 2008

Real Madrid vs Valencia, March 23rd

Go back to the first picture.
Ray Hudson, 6:37 1st

That's like being hit by Muhammad Ali, that one [...] And he is seeing pink elephants going up the wall right now...
Ray Hudson, 29:03 1st

Mouth wide open, sucking in flies, Robinho. Cannot believe that this one doesn't find its way in. Hocus pocus football again by the Brazilian. Freezing his defenders, tapping them on the head and dancing around them. Brilliant ...
Ray Hudson, 30:07 2nd

Chairmen nervous. They've got their millions to keep them warm though, don't worry about them.
Ray Hudson, 31:43 2nd

Barcelona vs Real Valladolid, March 23rd

He holds onto the ball, ice-cold. He freezes the defence of Real Valladolid and eventually he finds his team-mate. And he ain't gonna miss this. It's a nice tuck-away finish by Eto'o but believe me, this is all the kid. The kid stays in this picture, alright. Look at him, he gets the ball, he looks up, there's nothing on, he doesn't flight it in, he doesn't panic, he freezes them. He dances wide, then he finds the target. Brilliant Bojan Krkić! Magic Eto'o, all this young lad.
Ray Hudson, 23:27 1st

He had more rough edges about him than a pineapple...
Ray Hudson, half-time

Incredible power, Hoover Dam power again, by Yaya...
Ray Hudson, 53:27 2nd

This kid could be the best thing on two legs since Sophia Loren...
Ray Hudson, 61:43 2nd

Valdés has got his boots made in China - they're full of lead. He stays on his line, he's got to come and claim this one. Ah, the lads are talking under their breath - 'What the hell's Victor been on this morning? Must have been that salmon salad that he had for breakfast because he's looking awfully wobbly, Victor'.
Ray Hudson, 65:15 2nd

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Back Sunday Night. Or Monday.

Away for the weekend in an internet and tv-free zone. Consider this thread open for this weekend's games, as requested.

Valencia vs Barcelona, March 20th

I called that a pig, I take that back, it's a cow. My excuses to the barnyard animal...
Ray Hudson, pre-game

He loves a challenge, Eto'o. He wants the holes in golf made smaller.
Ray Hudson, 80:11 2nd

So, with ten minutes left, Valencia back on Occam's razor.
Phil Schoen, 80:38 2nd
[yes, it's Phil, but it's so Hudsonesque]

This belongs up there with Russian caviar, Dom Pérignon, and Muhammad Ali, that strike from Baraja...
Ray Hudson, post-game

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Racing Santander vs Getafe, March 19th

Mamma mia! Well, he's feeling them alright, he should be counting them.
Ray Hudson, 6:47 2nd

So many thrills and spills. Great drama, great action. Shakespeare's on on channel two, on the other station, it's got nothing on this one. Virtually hard to find, to get words in...
Ray Hudson, 15:24 2nd

Monday, March 17, 2008

Pachuca vs Cruz Azul, February 23rd

GolTv play-by-play announcer Pablo Alsina (the future Mr. Johansson) doesn't just cover games alongside Professor Unsein, he also hosts GolTv news every weekday, and consequently sees more soccer videos from around the world than Éver Banega sees empty Kleenex boxes. From amongst this regular global feast of football, Pablo has selected this one particular clip to share with Hudsonia. (not for the very easily offended)

Whether she uses Bosom Max or Sauna Twin will likely remain a mystery.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Almería vs Barcelona, March 16th

He lays it down on a golden altar. Iniesta comes in, Alves spills, Bojan pounces, disco.
Ray Hudson, 17:11 1st

Warrior! Can't believe it. It was really just a cat's lick, wasn't it?
Ray Hudson
Big cat.
Phil Schoen
With big teeth, Puyol...
Ray Hudson, 30:23 1st

Where is the defending though, Phil? Barcelona go to sleep! Corona feeds Pulido with a beautiful ball but somebody has got his thumb stuck somewhere where it shouldn't be...
Ray Hudson, 32:45 1st

Almería couldn't contain Iniesta with a net, or a trident...
Ray Hudson, half-time

The defence for Barcelona looks like they've just had a close encounter of the third kind, they're just standing around, statues of liberties...
Ray Hudson, half-time

Break-dancing in the penalty box - shouldn't be allowed...
Ray Hudson, half-time

Brave header. It's a dynamic snap of his head, the neck muscles twitch, the ball settles in the back of Valdés' net and he goes absolutely acrobatic disco...
Ray Hudson, 40:13 2nd

Corona'll be buying the beers tonight...
Ray Hudson, post-game

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Deportivo La Coruña vs Real Madrid, March 15th

The young Canadian, De Guzman, kind of making headlines this week. Said that if he's able to score a goal, what, what was it exactly Ray?
Phil Schoen
He actually said, De Guzman, that he, he scores against Iker Casillas, he will go without carnal knowledge of any female for a full year, no sex for a year. Oh, why does he want to put that pressure on himself?
Ray Hudson
Either way he's a winner.
Phil Schoen
What's the incentive to score? He's punishing himself.
Ray Hudson, 1:33 1st

You and your single entendres, Phil.
Ray Hudson, 35:03 1st

This offence for Real Deportivo, about as expressive as a set of fence posts, really, nothing, little pop-gun shot at Iker, and Xisco has been on a starvation diet of anorexic proportions...
Ray Hudson, half time

Guti is, he's a complete enigma, wrapped in, in the proverbial mystery, of a puzzle.
Ray Hudson, 15:30 2nd

Barcelona vs Villarreal, March 9th

He's not feeling that wrist any more, or maybe he is, but he won't mind. That's a brilliant turn by Guillermo Franco, absolutely brilliant. Argentine-born, of course, Franco, plays for Mexico...
Ray Hudson, 30:06 1st

Xavi's the one that punctures the net but it's all Iniesta, this. Brilliant run down this left side, taking player after player on, bravely. Look at this, beautiful slipped-in ball, challenges, takes him on, goes to the line, the pull-back's beautiful, outside of the foot. Textbook Xavi. Look at this by little Iniesta, squirreling away, he's got his head up, big bug-eyes, taking the defender on, outside of the foot, red-carpet pass. Barcelona back! Beautiful touch by Ronaldinho. Great slalom run by Iniesta, triggers it in, takes a touch off Godín. The substitute, the kid, goes disco.
Ray Hudson, 66:28 2nd

There's that lovely little touch by Eto'o that opens the window, then the door, then the bear-trap.
Ray Hudson, 70:55 2nd

This is an exemplary goal. Tomasson taps it in, but you've got to look at his team-mates for this, cause the true value of this goal is in the support. It's a lovely slipped-in ball here, he keeps on running, he wants the return, he's fed in, the square ball's begging, and it's provided. Beautiful football by the yellow submarine.
Ray Hudson, 80:14 2nd

Friday, March 14, 2008

Real Madrid vs Espanyol, March 8th

Baptista breaking the heavens with his cries. Look at this, that's going in the net, and jungle cat-quick, Kameni, Cameroonian springboard in operation there. Brilliant save.
Ray Hudson, 36:54 1st

I don't know if I've ever seen Casillas just misjudge something like that.
Phil Schoen
His halo just slipped down, that's all. It happens.
Ray Hudson
Right over his eyes?
Phil Schoen
Ray Hudson, 11:30 2nd

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Atlético Madrid vs Barcelona and Recreativo Huelva vs Real Madrid, March 1st

This is not normal. He's not normal, he never has been. He lives in the magnetic spectrum. What a goal this is. Beyond world-class. Astonishing. Cooler than a bomb disposal expert. Abbiati has no chance on this. Unbelievable ball played in, but look at what he's got to do, Phil. Acrobatic, turns himself upside-down, inside-out, it's all power, it's all direction, it's all bloody heavenly is what it is. Out of this universe. The ball isn't dropping like you usually see it, he makes it flush-on. That is amazing piece of football finishing by King Ronaldinho.
Ray Hudson, 29:13 1st

I love your statistics, my friend, but we've just seen poetry. So, you explain that with statistics. You explain that piece of finishing to me, and put that in your record books and smoke it, because there's no describing that. You think that that's just an overhead kick? You're dead wrong. I know you don't, but that is absolutely orgasmic finish.
Ray Hudson, 31:15 1st

What a goal from Ronaldinho, if you stepped away to grab some chips, you might want to hold on at half time to watch it. Cause it'll be on the front page of every sports section in Spain tomorrow.
Phil Schoen
You step away to get chips when Barcelona's playing, you've got a screw loose.
Ray Hudson, 38:22 1st

Simão, a complete box of toys that Zambrotta cannot contain...
Ray Hudson, 39:09 1st

This is a goal fused by the sheer, white-hot brilliance of Kun Agüero. The little Argie comes out and sinks his fangs into Barcelona...
Ray Hudson, 41:36 1st

It's onside, linesman, keep your flag down. Your village is missing their idiot...
Ray Hudson, half-time

Let me tell you. Every player sees a vision of a goal like every artist sees a starry night, but it takes a Van Gogh to capture the moment...
Ray Hudson, half-time

Spider-Man again, comes out and weaves his web all over the goal.
Ray Hudson, 7:35 2nd