This is Statue of Liberty defending ...
Ray Hudson, 17:55 1st
It's time for wakey-wakey. They need a response, they need an injection of something, and a little less flattering of the eyelashes and a little bit more extending of the muscles.
Ray Hudson, 45:27 2nd
Success is good, happy times, smiling faces ... Twenty minutes before they taste the beer in the locker room.
Ray Hudson, 63:53 2nd
Pagelsdorf still not smiling, but he's a ninja, he's smiling on the inside ...
Ray Hudson, post-game
Saturday, September 29, 2007
This is Statue of Liberty defending ...
Posted by Hudsonland at 11:59 PM
He's hitting a purple patch all of a sudden. Prince's purple patch. That type of purple ...
Ray Hudson, 23:51 1st
That gentleman with the flag needs to stick it somewhere, Kelly.
Ray Hudson, 44:40 1st
I had the pleasure of meeting Carlos Puyol when we ran into Barcelona's team, Hristo Stoichkov was playing with us for DC United, and I lent Carlos my World Soccer magazine, I remember. Never got the bugger back, either.
Ray Hudson, 45:46 2nd
Prince of accuracy, here. Easy as peeling a banana ...
Ray Hudson, 48:37 2nd
Better balance than a one-legged man standing in a hammock, Lionel Messi. Like Hannibal Lecter he skins them alive ...
Ray Hudson, 50:30 2nd
Beautiful, shimmer, shake. Dancing, swiveling his hips like a Greek belly-dancer ...
Ray Hudson, post-game
Posted by Hudsonland at 4:47 PM
Thursday, September 27, 2007
This has been a lethargic performance by Real Madrid, it's been lackadaisical and it's requiring a stick of dynamite pushed up into a very sensitive place and lit by the coach at half-time.
Ray Hudson, half-time
No right foot, but the left is like a glove ...
Phil Schoen, 53:49 2nd
Finger down the throat, and he knows it.
Fist down the throat ... He's got that dreaded forwards' disease known as finishingitis ....
Ray Hudson, 56:25 2nd
Well, to paraphrase Depeche Mode, but, the soccer gods with a strange sense of humour here today.
Well, that's why they've got white beards.
Ray Hudson, 76:37 2nd
You can read this game like a nursery rhyme book, so many times. Said this was in the stars, this result ... And the marquis of marksmanship, tonight, is Baptista with beautiful, acrobatic, Matrix, upside-down, bicycle kick, fabulous by the big Brazilian, look at this and watch, treat yourselves to this. Beautiful touch, it gets popped around, it's won here and banjo! He goes disco! and he is Donna Summers tonight.
Ray Hudson, 84:49 2nd
Lady Luck showed her big, ugly, fat, cellulite-laden backside to Betis, and smiled a lovely, diamond grin at Real Madrid here tonight.
Ray Hudson, 87:03 2nd
Posted by Hudsonland at 8:54 PM
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Are you kidding me? Oh my lord! Eto'o is injured and he's bouncing up and down, as this entire stadium is, to take their collective hats off to the magician of Messi. He's been called Messidona in the past, he is living up to the great Diego, his countryman. Absolutely unbelievable football. You wanna see stardust come out of a player's boots? Lock your beautiful, smiling eyes on this. It's fabulous vision, it's a great pass, that just gets mis-directed, but he picks it up, and he knows instinctively where the goal is. He has the initial ball in, it doesn't find its target, he keeps on running, he keeps on ticking, and he sinks his knife in beautifully into Zaragoza. Take a look at it again and again, get out of your sofas and applaud. This is magical, mercurial football by Lionel.
Ray Hudson, 04:41 1st
Well, if the first eight minutes are anything to be judged you might want to strap the seatbelt on your Barcalounger.
Yeah. And get me an oxygen tent, please, Phil.
Ray Hudson, 08:27 1st
My sweet lord! This is better than Messi's goal, Phil. This is an orgasmic goal of simp - oh, my lord. An incredible strike.
Ray Hudson, 09:00 1st
The marquis of marksmanship, again. He doesn't need two touches. You better wrap him up in a vault and drop him to the ocean, because that's the only way you're going to contain little Lionel, the magic Messi ... he's always lively, fizzier than an Alka-Seltzer in a glass of Newcastle Brown Ale ...
Ray Hudson, 10:28 1st
A rabbit-hole attack by Barcelona ...
Ray Hudson, 13:03 1st
His heart is as big as a fat pig, that man there, and so is his courage ...
Ray Hudson, 21:10 1st
Just curious - do the fat pigs drink the Alka-Seltzer and Brown Ale? Must be a fun night out on the town in Newcastle.
Phil Schoen, 21:32 1st
Scientific football and it begins with the Einstein, Messi. The brilliant wizard ...
Ray Hudson, 21:56 1st
What a pass this is! This is Clark Kent, Superman vision from deep to find Thierry Henry ...
Ray Hudson, 23:52 1st
Defending this team, it's like trying to nail Jello to the ceiling, mission impossible ...
Ray Hudson, 39:10 1st
Iniesta trying to get around the big man, Sergio, here, to receive his own pass on the other side. Drives into Sergio, he cannot dispel the atoms in his body, so Sergio just rifles through him. I wouldn't put it past Iniesta to try that disappearing act and then reappear on the other side of Sergio, the way he's playing ...
Ray Hudson, 45:02 1st
They are having more fun than monkeys in a monkey tree ...
Ray Hudson, half-time
Posted by Hudsonland at 5:17 PM
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Talk about Kerzhakov all you like, I'm going to pick the goalkeeper out of Espanyol as absolutely brilliant beyond belief, look at this save, Phil, it's brilliant reflexes by Kameni. This'll be a perfect look, he powers this one on, cat-quick. That is brilliant by the Cameroonian.
Ray Hudson, 47:01 2nd
What a ball provided out wide, this is a majestic ball into Luis García and that is absolutely pin-point finishing. Absolutely outstanding. Great ball in, beautifully played in by Riera. Oh, what a finish this is. Palop has got no chance. There is a window, tiny little window of opportunity on his right side that could be exploited, and that man there, X-ray vision to find its way in, beautiful. Penalty box assassin, Luis García.
Ray Hudson, 54:11 2nd
Sevilla were running rampant, but that werewolf Luis García jumps out and draws blood ...
Ray Hudson, 55:13 2nd
Good look at Valverde now, getting a little bit moist under the armpits ...
Ray Hudson, 63:24 2nd
Jumps up, salmon-like out of the country stream, and punches this home, that is world class, nothing less ... Phil, that is as good of a header as you will ever see as long as you live, and as long as you are eating pork pies ...
Ray Hudson, 68:31 2nd
Shakespeare absolute could not write this stuff ...
Ray Hudson, 87:53 2nd
Miraculous come-back, out of all proportion, I call it Shakespearian. Ah, that does the bard justice ...
Ray Hudson, post-game
Posted by Hudsonland at 3:20 PM
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Real Madrid under Schuster, confidence coming out of his ear holes.
Ray Hudson, 01:39 1st
This is a molten hit, from distance. A raise of the eyebrows, and a big question mark over Iker's head. When he picked it up there was one intention, but what accuracy, Kelly. This is a phenomenal strike from distance. Iker does his damnedest to springboard this wonderful hit. López, beautiful, howitzer, bullets this. It sizzles underneath the bar, there's nothing else on, he chances his arm, and he catches Iker ... out. And the German cannot believe it but he smelt it coming, I'll guarantee you that ...
Ray Hudson, 70:04 2nd
He was the coolest player in Spain when the pressure told and the spotlight was on him. Guti hesitated, he waited for that magical crack of the dam ...
Ray Hudson, 90:10 2nd
Posted by Hudsonland at 7:52 PM
Missed chances, my friend. One of life's great mysteries.
Ray Hudson, 12:44 1st
No sign of Lady Luck for Levante. She's still in the shadows and she don't want to come out for this team.
Ray Hudson, 24:31 1st
Certainly a handball, let's have a look ... that's not a handball ...
Ray Hudson, 68:09 2nd
Lady Luck smiling down at Riganò but she takes her dentures out and gives an ugly look ...
Ray Hudson, 69:28 2nd
You know I'm right, Phil, come on, you can say it.
Ray Hudson, 70:39 2nd
Ray Hudson, 70:44 2nd
Aduriz gets a lot of help, you talk about luck, it's -
She put her dentures back in.
Phil Schoen, 72:49 2nd
He's really angry about something, like a polar bear on South Beach ...
Ray Hudson, 73:17 2nd
Posted by Hudsonland at 1:04 PM
Saturday, September 22, 2007
What a miss by Thierry Henry this one is, Lindsey. Feast your shocked eyes on this one.
Ray Hudson, 54:52 2nd
When it ain't going your way, Lady Luck shows her big, fat, ugly backside to you ...
Ray Hudson, 70:56 2nd
Ingenious pass by Thierry Henry, who picks himself up, and dusts himself down, and provides a jewel of a pass for the little tormentor, Lionel. And he kisses him, smells his aftershave. And that has sent this crowd into happy jubilation ...
Ray Hudson, 73:10 2nd
That little Argentine magician did enough to cushion it, and settle it. It bounced up for him, it didn't matter. He did The Matrix, he got over it and pummeled it past Palop.
Ray Hudson, 75:49 2nd
No more deserving player. Locked focus, cool as Father Christmas. Can he deliver the present? Ah, can he ever!
Ray Hudson, 79:24 2nd
And his magic star keeps rising, in the ascendancy ...
Ray Hudson, 79:43 2nd
Posted by Hudsonland at 4:06 PM
I bet you Fernando Torres will never ever taste scouse as long as he's at Liverpool. He's a smart man for doing so.
Ray Hudson, 3:17 1st
What a great ball, splitting them open like a fresh fish, by Xavi.
Ray Hudson, 11:12 1st
And Joaquin, he attacks this one, Phil, like you attack a plate of pork pies. He's around the defender, he puts it on a silver altar, Xavi stabs it home. Brilliant football by the wide man of Valencia. Perfect providing, perfect execution, rapier football, Antonio Banderas, Zorro.
Ray Hudson, 13:06 1st
Those lads, the defenders, earn their bread and butter. And when you see it done like that, really, all the hairy chested centre-halves around the country are going 'Yeah!'
You're big with the hairy-chested lads then?
I'm big with the hairy-chested lasses as well.
Ray Hudson, 18:19 1st
He's got it all in his arsenal.
No pun intended.
Well it actually was.
Ray Hudson, 66:59
It's not a work of art, far from it. A Picasso type of a goal, in its own way, it's all disjointed and ugly ...
Ray Hudson, 85:02 2nd
What about a - someone from Liverpool speaking Spanish ...
Ésta es Anfield.
Ray Hudson, 86:07
Posted by Hudsonland at 2:48 PM
Monday, September 17, 2007
But that man there, the big werewolf, pounces out of the cupboard ...
Ray Hudson, 44:43 1st
Like a big lurking vulture, that hasn't been fed for a week ...
Ray Hudson, 54:17 2nd
Bordon launches himself, hopefully, he sees this ball, just too late. It squirts its way through all the big dock cranes and Ollie Kahn and there, he just cannot extend himself. A fraction of a second earlier he makes contact and that one is hurting Kahn's net.
Ray Hudson, 88:14 2nd
Posted by Hudsonland at 10:21 PM
Sunday, September 16, 2007
For me, Pirlo was the undersung hero of the Italian World Cup championship team ...
Ray Hudson, 17:48 1st
Looks like a Tyrannosaurus Rex with hemorrhoids. Angry!
Ray Hudson, 12:04 2nd
Is this going to be a game where somebody drops the ball, somebody, basically, the screw-up fairy shows up ...
Ray Hudson, 23:53 2nd
It's been flick-knives and baseball bats in that midfield ...
Ray Hudson, 40:28 2nd
Posted by Hudsonland at 10:23 AM
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Magical strike by twinkle-toes Robinho, lovely lead-ball through, he doesn't hesitate, he gets all his angles right, it's a whisker, kisses the back post, Robinho, Brazilian beauty ...
Ray Hudson, 13:36 1st
A very personal, private statement that he said out wide.
Ray Hudson, 15:19 1st
It's the slightest touch, he stretches his toenails to get it ...
Ray Hudson, 39:21 1st
He kisses it in, like a beautiful pool player, top pocket. Majestical, deadly, merciless, like Kathy Bates with that sledgehammer and that movie, remember? Whack!
Ray Hudson, 48:08 2nd
This is a vivacious goal from los merengues, they're kissing each other, they'll be buying the drinks out tonight. Beautiful, beautiful goal, set up by Sergio Garcia - Sergio Ramos. Beautiful, he lifts his head, Ruud keeps himself onside, lovely touch, and old horse's face guides it, passes it. Sees his target, picks him out. Says 'put it away', and Oranje does magical. He doesn't panic, he settles it, cool like a killer in the box, pure assassin, goes disco.
Ray Hudson, 50:04 2nd
This is an absolute concerto goal, nothing less. This is a rhapsody in white. And I am not exaggerating. This is of a quality that Real Madrid has not seen in years ... One touch to caress it, the second touch to spank it, and punishes the net of the error. Villarreal stripped naked by Real Madrid. Fabulous football, Phil. Sneijder, the marquis of marksmanship.
Ray Hudson, 72:38 2nd
Posted by Hudsonland at 6:44 PM
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
This is a pile driver but it is precision-steered by Ronny's right foot. Those big eyes bulging he looks at that top corner and he says, that postage stamp is going to get my foot on this one. And he looks, all the menace, the intent, the deadly accuracy, it whips in under the bar and inside of the post, millimetre, split-millimetre perfection by the Brazilian wizard.
The poetry of Ray Hudson and the majestic strike of Ronaldinho ...
Pablo Alsina, 08:16 1st
Caparrós, of course, comes into this intimidating lion's den to face these gladiators ...
Ray Hudson, 21:52 1st
Little bit mischievous play there by Lionel, once he realised he wasn't getting the ball, that's when the invisible gopher popped up.
Ray Hudson, 46:52 1st
Here's that earlier run by the squirrel on the telephone wire. Messi puts the brakes on, freezes everybody, here's a lovely bamboozling ball chipped in, Yaya steadies it, Yaya spanks it ... close.
Ray Hudson, 83:29 2nd
Posted by Hudsonland at 6:53 AM
Sunday, September 2, 2007
He's been as dangerous as an alligator in a toilet bowl ...
Ray Hudson, 45:32 2nd
It's an absolute scalding hit by Pasanen that will send them to the beer-lines now. This can not be subdued, this one has got goal written all over it by Pasanen ... And it is an absolutely steam-roller of a smash.
Ray Hudson, 78:56 2nd
Posted by Hudsonland at 5:34 PM