Friday, November 30, 2007

Nacional vs Peñarol, November 25th

The ball nicely hits our GolTv sign, right there, on the field of Centenario Stadium.
Pablo Alsina
Best looking sign around the boards, that. Look at that thing standing out.
Ray Hudson, 25:59 1st

Look at this, Ray. The stands are on fire. Literally, they're on fire ...
Pablo Alsina
Enterprising fans throwing a couple of potatoes onto the fire for a quick snack.
Ray Hudson, 30:50 1st

It'll have to take somebody with his head rolling off of his body to be given a penalty kick here today, it seems.
Ray Hudson, 34:09 1st

This game is swinging like a big fulcrum.
Ray Hudson, 36:30 1st

Antonio Pacheco, as I said, has had his feet on the right legs all day long ... Tony the tiger comes out and roars.
Ray Hudson, 66:40 2nd

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Real Murcia vs Real Madrid, November 24th

That is absolutely Einstein football. E equals MC squared plus Bernd Schuster's DNA of this team.
Ray Hudson, 9:31 1st

Barcelona vs Recreativo Huelva, November 24th

The door was opened and little Bojan would kick it in. This is fabulous. Look at that touch. Cool as a bomb disposal expert at seventeen and Thierry Henry goes nuts like a lottery winner.
Ray Hudson, post-game

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Ecuador vs Peru, November 21st

Brilliant, absolutely superlative hit. Bombastic!
Ray Hudson, 10:51 1st

A magical goal. A goal of absolute top, top quality. Confidence is absolutely bursting and you can thank the technician on the sideline for that. Vizuete sends his men out with radiant confidence. Ecuador jump down the throats of Peru again. Beautiful lead-ball, he sees his target. Again, it's Benítez. Fabulous lead-ball, Kaviedes is onto it like Jumping Jack Flash. Beautiful lead, rainbow ball, pot of gold delivered.
Ray Hudson, 24:12 1st

Peru, basically, throw down the welcome mat, and are saying 'come in, sit down, put your feet up'. Look at that defending, shocking. Amateur, schoolboys. That's defending? That's an international footballer? Should be horse-whipped.
Ray Hudson, 43:51 1st

The goalkeeper grows thumbs on his hands because he had thumbs on his feet with his early clearance ...
Ray Hudson, 3:13 2nd

Penny's playing in front of this, playing behind this set of ... uh ...
Ray Hudson
Defenders, I think, is the word you're searching for.
Phil Schoen
Penguins, actually, Phil.
Ray Hudson, 6:11

Colombia vs Argentina, November 20th

And it's a mucho gusto hit by Bustos ...
Ray Hudson, post-game

Spain vs Northern Ireland, November 21st

Xavi, so accurate, he practices throwing letters into his mailbox from fifty yards away. Look at this, beautiful hit. Exquisite angle. Caresses it, pummels it, takes a deflection. Ooh, maybe wasn't so accurate. Doesn't matter ...
Ray Hudson, 7:12 2nd

Aragonés looks down his bench. He sees Villarreal, he sees Valencia, he sees Espanyol. Worthington looks down and it's Grimsby Town and Glentoran.
Phil Schoen
Yeah, that's a tale of ... some cities.
Ray Hudson, 12:05 2nd

Monday, November 19, 2007

Argentina vs Bolivia, November 17th

Well, that's what you get for chasing rabbits - you get punished. Sublime hit by Romy. Brilliant, brilliant footballer of heavenly class and this one is manna from heaven. His rehearsals were teasers. Like a big stripper he comes out with tassels on, Phil. Beautiful Romy.
Ray Hudson, 11:24 2nd

Goooooooooooooooooooooool for Riquelme.
Phil Schoen
This man has got a walkie-talkie directly to heaven gods. Beautifully set up by Lionel Messi. Superlative football. I've told you, man, it was coming. This is Argentina. This is the Koh-i-Noor diamond of world football. Ranked number one by FIFA. Couldn't give a monkey's uncle about that. This is absolutely heavenly football from the gods of the game. Messi streaking in, red-carpet hit to Román. And look at that touch, the Stradivarius comes out again from Román Riquelme. Guides it, kisses it, caresses it. The walkie-talkie's working.
Ray Hudson, 28:13 2nd

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Uruguay vs Chile, November 18th

This is a lovely lead-ball, beautifully provided, and that sweet, sweet, honey finish. Beautiful finding from Sánchez. Suárez, that right foot is a rifle, eventually. He pulls out the happy dagger ...
Ray Hudson, half-time

I think it was Villanueva, that man I said, look out for him, man ... Carlos Villanueva finds him, beautiful radar working very sharp. Salas is sharper than a Ginsu knife with this finish, Phil, but it's Villanueva that I tip my hat off to.
Ray Hudson, 13:27 2nd

Rodríguez, pulling rabbits out of the hat the size of greyhounds ...
Ray Hudson, 31:07 2nd

If the Gods of football are watching down they'll say, we've got to tie this game and leave it like this ...
Ray Hudson, 36:02 2nd

It's an absolutely rock-and-roll game of football we have been served here on GolTV. Majesterial!
Ray Hudson, 36:43 2nd

Sublimely set up by Suárez, who has been as electric as a live-wire that's been knocked down in a hurricane ...
Ray Hudson, 37:41 2nd

Brilliant goalkeeping by Bravo here, Rodríguez seducing and teasing him like a big Turkish belly-dancer ...
Ray Hudson, 41:31 2nd

Blood pressure rising, and not just in this crowd, in this commentary booth. Turns you on, man, this game, doesn't it? Thriller! What a game of football.
Ray Hudson, 42:16

Suárez doing beautifully. Wriggling, twitching of his hips and shoulders. Paralysing Chile's defenders, he gets the corner-kick. Last throw of the dice for Tabarez's gladiators. He's Spartacus.
Ray Hudson, 46:53 2nd

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Spain vs Sweden, November 17th

Xavi prompts, leads, beautifully fed back, rifled home to put number two on the score-sheet. And they want more. Like Oliver Twist they want more.
Ray Hudson, 38:54 1st

Absolutely thrilling football being served up, like a big, wonderful, hot, steaming mass of paella, and it's being devoured by this crowd.
Ray Hudson, 44:06 1st

Orchestrial movement, beautifully finished by the violin of Iniesta, and meanwhile, in the Coach's dug-out, Aragonés is sitting like Leonard Bernstein.
Ray Hudson, half-time

Said earlier that he doesn't quite have his shooting boots polished enough in this game, well he hasn't, but they're shining now like Dorothy's red slippers ... and he goes absolutely acrobatic disco ...
Ray Hudson, 64:40 2nd

This has been the type of football served up here today that makes you want to get up and shake your castanets, in a big way. And I'm sure the ladies will be shaking their castanets tonight in Spain, my friend.
Ray Hudson
Another Mastercard moment from Ray Hudson ...
Lindsey Dean, 69:45 2nd

It's going to be another sub for Lagerbäck.
Lindsey Dean
Well you handle that pronunciation, there, Linds.
Ray Hudson
It's Kennedy Bakircioglü.
Lindsey Dean
We'll call him Kennedy.
Ray Hudson
I thought you were going to go with Ken for short.
Lindsey Dean, 78:47 2nd

Sweden had no chance because this was a tsunami that kept coming at them, wave after wave of helpless, beautiful, attacking football that stripped them down. Sergio Ramos capitalising to put a beautiful, big, red, succulent cherry on this delightful sundae of Spanish football.
Ray Hudson, post-game

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Real Madrid vs Mallorca, November 11th

I must be a clairvoyant. Here he goes again. His feet are like revolving doors, man ...
Ray Hudson, 11:27 1st

His right foot must be made of absolute chocolate ... It didn't make clean contact and allowed Varela in like the wolf in the hen house ...
Ray Hudson, 15:07 1st

The ball gets snap, crackled, pop around and it falls beautifully for him. Here's the ball in, he's onside, it comes back through the legs, it falls beautifully for Robinho, and that's better than hoochie coochie.
Ray Hudson, 17:12 1st

This ball's played in, it's a good ball. He's got it all to do. He rides Marcelo, and this hit is hotter than a black leather skirt on Sophia Loren.
Ray Hudson, half-time

This is the warrior out there. One-man battleship, Robinho. Look, he's got it all to do, Phil. Recognise it. All the fire engines come, he takes them all and skins them like Jack the Ripper.
Ray Hudson, 17:37 2nd

Kaleidoscope eyes, brilliant feet. Beyond brilliant, look at the culture there. Heavenly, and look how much it misses. Agh! Munch, The Scream.
Ray Hudson, 19:07 2nd

Old Horsey-Face comes galloping in again ...
Ray Hudson, 27:37 2nd

This is a paradigm of what Real Madrid can be. Beautiful football. Ruud van Nistelrooy is a horse of a different colour, alright ...
Ray Hudson, post-game

Really, it's an honour just to be nominated ...

Best of luck to the real soccer blogs (The DCenters, duNord, Soccer By Ives, Soccer Insider, thisisamericansoccer, ThroughBall, and the others). Unlike certain blogs, they certainly wouldn't spend the weekend drinking and only get around to watching the Madrid-Mallorca game three days late.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Valencia vs Real Murcia, November 10th

A player like Albelda, that you rightfully point out, with that quality, will find you as easily as peeling a tangerine.
Ray Hudson, 27:11 1st

Murcia cannot defend this, it's absolutely on the Yellow Brick Road for Iván Helguera ...
Ray Hudson, half-time

David Villa, again. His name rhymes with 'pure finishing'. Well it does in my mind, anyway.
Ray Hudson, half-time

My phone's ringing, Phil.
Ray Hudson, half-time

It looks like Q.E.D. - 'what we set out to prove' in Latin. I don't know what the Latin expression is, Phil.
Ray Hudson, 80:57 2nd

Beautifully fed in by Albelda, to Silva, to Villa, and they go disco. And he will be buying him a table-dance tonight.
Ray Hudson, post-game

Stuttgart vs Bayern Munich, November 10th [Updated]

What a nuclear hit this one is by Baştürk ... this is an absolutely radioactive, freak goal. A beautiful freak because it's steered in with absolute precision, Phil ...
Ray Hudson, 29:34 1st

He's beaming, beaming on the inside. It's a wonder you can't see star-bursts coming out of his ear-holes ...
Ray Hudson, 44:30 1st

They couldn't find Nelson's Column in Trafalgar Square, and that isn't an overstatement ...
Ray Hudson, 82:46 2nd

[Update - from Adam via email]
The wall breaks a little bit, brave as penguins ...
Ray Hudson, 16:30 1st

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Barcelona vs Real Betis, November 4th

I'm aroused, Phil.
Ray Hudson
That's why I'm sitting on this side.
Phil Schoen, 34:15 1st

If the universe is really expanding, Phil, how come there's not more spaces in between this red-and-white, this green-and-white team's defence? Answer me that.
Ray Hudson, 34:39 1st

You've got to put him in chains, put him inside a bank vault, put him on a ship, take the ship out to the ocean, sink the ship, and you know what? He'll still get out.
Ray Hudson, 36:17 1st

Esoteric. That's all I can say. There's more flair in this team, in this club, than a nineteen-seventies high-school reunion. This is a cabaret goal, again. And he's Liza Minnelli. Perfect placement, perfect dynamic, perfect free-kick.
Ray Hudson, 7:38 2nd

But again it kinda helps when you have someone like Ronaldinho that you can play with because he sees the lines as well.
Phil Schoen
Yeah, they're both aliens. Telling you, they're pod people.
Ray Hudson, 14:02 2nd

Turns the defenders inside-out, leaves them with twisted blood ...
Ray Hudson, 25:06 2nd

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Sevilla vs Real Madrid, November 3rd

The ball's trapped in between Raúl's legs. Keita doesn't matter what ball he kicks, he's gonna get something.
Ray Hudson, 7:54 1st

Rifled into the back of the net! How dare he? What a goal!
Kelly O'Donnell
Absolutely no chance for Iker Casillas on this one, man. Jiménez bursting with pride, Keita bursting the net of Real Madrid. This is an astonishing hit from distance, Kelly, and it's unhesitant. It's a brave strike, he takes the responsibility on, it could miss by a lunar mile. It doesn't. Look at this, unhesitant. He sees it. That is arrowed perfect. William Tell. And Casillas' net's the apple. Beautiful. Stretching effort. Springs like a jungle cat, Iker. He cannot get anywhere close to it.
Ray Hudson, 18:28 1st

Again, crackling white lightning attack by Sevilla. And again, Casillas does his damnedest, Casillas turns himself inside out. It's a beautiful ball over the top that finds big Frédéric, Frédéric comes in and hits it, Casillas saves it, but it's Fabiano, fabulous Fabiano, that puts the finishing razor-edge touch ...
Ray Hudson, 20:53 1st

Big Frédéric doesn't trust his left foot enough to take the swing, and his finish is as sharp as a rubber mallet, there.
Ray Hudson, 29:54 1st

One point twenty-one gigawatts, Kelly. Electrical bolt. One point twenty-one gigawatts!
Ray Hudson, half-time

That is an absolutely sagacious hit, Kelly. So good, it's fattening ...
Ray Hudson, half-time

Now he's handing out yellow cards like it's a bodily function.
Ray Hudson, 54:38 2nd

This referee, man, I tell you, he's having a Marge Simpson haircut day
Ray Hudson, 58:50 2nd

Bayern Munich vs Eintracht Frankfurt. November 3rd

They're looking as nervous as a Beirut grocery-run here in the opening going.
Ray Hudson, 1:04 1st

Screaming his blue-letter words at the heavens again, Luca Toni ...
Ray Hudson, 15:13 1st

We called him the bionic man earlier. Superman, Spiderman, magic man. He's Macedonian, I know that for sure ...
Ray Hudson, 75:32 2nd

Their defence was tighter than a camel's backside in a sandstorm ...
Ray Hudson, post-game

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Simple answers to simple questions [Updated]

Yes (sorry, Pablo)

Real Valladolid vs Barcelona - I got nothing. Anyone?

Update: Added, for Josh ...